down on luck;

I fell down again just now, additional bruises to my legs.
painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! :(
down on my luck or what.
lost around 40 bucks last last night, but won back 5 yesterday.
2 words: gambling kills.
gonna smoke a stick before heading to bed,
have not sleep at all since last night and I still needa go out at 2.
I must treasure my precious time to sleep.
bye whoever is reading(:

Its history;

so I was living in a lie all along,
I kept thinking that there would still be a slight glimpse of hope no matter what.
but no, you were attached all along..
my heart feels as if its been torn to millions of pieces.
I guess its really time to give up & move on.
This will be the very last time I'll get upset over you,
I'll control myself not to shed anymore tears for you.
I'll remember, we're history, past tense.
goodbye.

some recent photos(:

flames to dust, lovers to friends.

having you around me for two nights straight made me felt bliss,
it just hurts me when we're of close distance but you are of a mere friend and nothing more.
sigh, they asked me why I love you so much, I really wanna know why too.
today's the 18th again, another celebration without you..
I want you back so much, still holding on to hope that you'll be back,
I really hope you would.
love & misses from a dumb fool.

:)

"people can choose to hurt you, but you can choose not to let yourself get hurt by them."

didn't attend school today,
not gonna attend school tmr too, still a lil sick but recovering already(:
in summary, today was breakfast with andrew, tamp to get my stuffs, school outside to meet other friends, west plaza to meet kelly, went back to my house area to meet kaven.

being friends with you ain't as bad as I thought, I'm over the moon now(:

Where are you;

I'm sick.
down with cough, flu & a fever that goes on and off, it makes me feel so weak.
been like this 2 weeks back just that it got worse recently.
how I wish I could slice open my throat and give it a good scratch so I'll stop coughing, arghhhh
gonna be a hectic day tmr, parents going to school, oral and physics retest after school, Sigh

how I wish you're right beside me now taking care of me. I need you, I seriously do. All I can do is stare helplessly at pictures of you & me, life sucks without you.

I can wait forever;

this feeling in me now just suck.
seeing you today made me feel so happy, yet so heart wrenching.
happy that I'm finally able to see you, happy to know that you're safe and sound.
heart wrenching because I know, you're no longer mine..
I kept telling you off, kept rejecting to be your friend.
you kept asking me why.
its all because I know, even if we're friends, there's no way we can be together again.
so what's the point, it hurts..
people may think I'm childish, lame, dumb or whatever.
but this is how I feel.
I felt like crying so much when I looked into your eye,
I wanted to hug you so much and not let go,
but I didn't, I know I don't have the rights to do it anymore.
till now nobody could replace you in my heart.
seeing you today makes me want you back even more.
can't help but tear,
Darling, I really love you, I want you back in my arms again so so much. :'(

Deep & meaningless;

have so much to say, but idk where to start with.

today's just sucha bored & tiring day, gave school a miss again.
waited for usual clique to end school with lingyi & andrew.

ever since that day, when everything ended, my life had been on a roller coaster ride.
had my ups and downs, just seems that I've been through so much.
friends told me about problems in their love life, my mind would automatically think about you.
I can't deny, I still miss you, a part of you is still in me.
sometimes I wonder, what're you doing, are you alright, what's in your mind now.
I know, if we're friends, we can keep in contact & all my questions & thoughts will be answered.
but no, being only friends with you would just pain my heart so much, it hurts calling you a friend & nothing more.
sometimes I'd still wonder if maybe there's still a slight chance that we'll be back together.
I know it ain't possible, but somehow I just can't face the fact.
told you that i'll forget you when you rejected my patch that day,
its been a month but I still have not accomplish it yet.
sigh, you're one love that's so hard to forget..